The #MeToo movement began as a ground-breaking initiative to expose and challenge the pervasive culture of sexual harassment and abuse. Its origins lie in giving a voice to survivors who had long been silenced, many of whom were women facing the unchecked power of men in positions of authority. However, as the movement gained global traction, a parallel discourse emerged: the need to acknowledge that abuse is not limited by gender. This realisation has given rise to the #MenToo movement, which highlights the experiences of men as victims of harassment, abuse, and exploitation. The shift from #MeToo to #MenToo signals an evolution in our understanding of abuse—one that demands a more inclusive and holistic approach.
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When Tarana Burke first coined the phrase “Me Too” in 2006, her intention was to provide empathy and support to survivors of sexual violence, particularly women and girls of colour. It was later popularised on social media in 2017 when high-profile cases of abuse in Hollywood came to light, most notably involving film producer Harvey Weinstein. The movement sparked a wave of revelations as survivors across the world shared their personal stories using the hashtag #MeToo.
The impact of #MeToo was undeniable. For the first time, people began to recognise the extent to which power dynamics enable abuse in various spheres—from workplaces and educational institutions to homes and public spaces. It led to increased accountability for powerful figures, policy reforms in organisations, and a cultural shift toward believing survivors.
However, as the movement grew, so did criticism. Some argued that #MeToo created a "gender war" by portraying men as perpetrators and women as victims. But such critiques missed a vital point: #MeToo never claimed that only women could be victims of abuse. It highlighted a reality that, statistically, women experience such violence in greater numbers. The movement’s aim was never to vilify men as a group but to expose a culture of silence that had protected abusers for far too long.
One of the most critical lessons from the #MeToo movement is that abuse is not gender-specific. While women are disproportionately affected by certain forms of abuse, men are not immune to it. Men, too, experience harassment, domestic violence, sexual assault, and emotional abuse. However, social stigma and traditional notions of masculinity often prevent men from speaking out.
When abuse is framed exclusively as a "women's issue," it becomes difficult for male victims to recognise and articulate their experiences. Phrases like "man up" and "boys don’t cry" have long taught men to suppress vulnerability and endure pain in silence. This cultural conditioning makes it harder for them to seek help or admit that they’ve been harmed. As a result, many men continue to suffer in isolation.
The need to broaden the narrative around abuse has given rise to the #MenToo movement. It aims to destigmatise male vulnerability, encourage men to come forward with their stories, and recognise that anyone—regardless of gender—can be a victim or a perpetrator of abuse.
The #MenToo movement emerged in response to the growing recognition that men, too, experience abuse. Although it is not as widely publicised as #MeToo, it carries significant weight in challenging traditional gender norms. The movement is not about diminishing the importance of #MeToo but about complementing it. It seeks to expand the conversation on abuse to be more inclusive and intersectional.
While high-profile cases of women victims captured public attention, stories of male survivors began to surface as well. In 2018, actor Terry Crews publicly shared his experience of sexual assault by a powerful Hollywood executive. His revelation was a watershed moment for #MenToo, as it shattered the misconception that male victims were weak or "less manly" for speaking out. Crews' courage inspired many men to come forward with their own stories, shedding light on a demographic of survivors that had largely been ignored.
Moreover, the #MenToo movement addresses other forms of abuse that men experience, such as emotional and psychological manipulation. Domestic violence shelters and helplines, which were initially designed to cater primarily to women, have started to expand their services to include male survivors. Legal frameworks are also being reevaluated to ensure they provide equal protection for all survivors, regardless of gender.
One of the underlying barriers for male survivors is the societal tendency to dismiss or minimise their experiences. Cultural stereotypes suggest that men are supposed to be strong, invulnerable, and always in control. When a man admits to being abused, society often responds with skepticism or ridicule. Questions like "Why didn’t you fight back?" or statements like "You should have been stronger" place the blame on the victim rather than the perpetrator.
These dismissive attitudes are particularly damaging when men experience abuse from female partners. Male survivors of domestic violence often face disbelief and legal biases when seeking help. Family courts, for example, may default to viewing men as aggressors, even when evidence suggests otherwise. This systemic bias further silences male survivors and perpetuates the cycle of abuse.
The LGBTQ+ community also faces unique challenges when it comes to abuse. Same-sex relationships and non-binary individuals are often excluded from mainstream conversations around abuse, leaving survivors with limited support. Addressing these gaps requires a collective effort to dismantle harmful stereotypes and create a culture where all survivors are believed and supported.
One of the most toxic aspects of the gendered narrative around abuse is the assumption that men are always the perpetrators and women the victims. This binary thinking oversimplifies a complex issue. Abusers come in all genders, and victims are equally diverse. When society perpetuates the idea that "all men are potential abusers," it harms both men and women.
By moving away from a binary perspective, we can create space for more people to share their experiences. Men who have been abused by female partners, LGBTQ+ individuals who have faced intimate partner violence, and non-binary survivors can all find a voice in a more inclusive narrative. This shift also makes it easier to understand abuse as a behavioral issue rather than a gender issue. By focusing on the mindset of perpetrators rather than their gender, we foster a more effective response to abuse.
Criminal behavior is not gender-specific. Research into the psychology of abusers shows that their actions stem from a desire for power and control rather than a specific alignment with their gender. Recognizing this reality allows for more targeted interventions and support systems that address the root causes of abuse rather than focusing solely on gender-based solutions.
The transition from #MeToo to #MenToo requires several cultural and institutional changes:
1. Redefining Masculinity: Boys and men must be taught that it’s okay to express vulnerability, seek help, and speak up about abuse. The societal script that equates masculinity with strength, dominance, and emotional stoicism must be rewritten.
2. Media Representation: Media portrayals of abuse survivors should reflect the diversity of real-world experiences. Male survivors need to see their stories represented in films, books, and news media. This visibility can reduce stigma and encourage others to come forward.
3. Policy Reforms: Legal systems should be gender-neutral in their definitions of abuse, harassment, and domestic violence. Shelters, helplines, and counseling services must be accessible to all survivors, regardless of gender.
4. Support Systems: More inclusive survivor support services are needed. For instance, men often face unique barriers when seeking shelter from abusive relationships. Providing gender-neutral support systems can ensure that no one is left behind.
5. Awareness Campaigns: Just as #MeToo used social media to spotlight abuse, #MenToo needs similar awareness campaigns to challenge the stigma around male survivors. Education programs in schools and workplaces can help people understand that anyone can be a victim of abuse.
The goal is not to pit #MeToo against #MenToo but to recognise that both movements are essential. Abuse is not a "gender war" but a societal issue that demands collective action. Men’s pain should not be seen as a rebuttal to women’s pain; rather, it should be acknowledged as part of a shared human experience.
By taking gender out of the narrative, we create a space where survivors can speak without fear of judgment or dismissal. When men feel safe to discuss their experiences, society moves closer to a more honest and empathetic understanding of abuse.
Both #MeToo and #MenToo seek justice and healing for survivors. Their coexistence highlights the need to move beyond gendered binaries and address the real issue: the misuse of power. By acknowledging that perpetrators and victims exist across the gender spectrum, we can create a world where all survivors—regardless of who they are—are heard, believed, and supported.
Abuse does not discriminate. It is a human issue, not a gender issue. Both the #MeToo and #MenToo movements remind us that survivors exist across all genders and identities. By fostering a culture of inclusivity, empathy, and accountability, we can ensure that no survivor feels silenced or overlooked.
The coexistence of #MeToo and #MenToo is not a contradiction but a necessary step toward a shared future. Together, these movements amplify the message that abuse is about power, not gender. Only by removing gendered labels and embracing a more holistic understanding of abuse can we truly create a safer, more just world for all.
(The author is a Former Research Scholar in Guwahati based university. All views and opinions expressed are authors own.)
