In 90% of relationships, there is some level of incompatibility. With people spending more time in the virtual world, they find it difficult to establish deep, real-world emotional connections. This often results in situationships, where they feel less pressured to meet high expectations -- Kankan Sarmah, Psychologist
Relationships have always evolved with time, but in recent years, a new form of romantic connection has taken over among young adults in Guwahati—situationships. Unlike traditional relationships, these bonds come without clear labels, commitments, or long-term expectations. While some embrace the freedom that comes with it, others find themselves stuck in emotional limbo. Oxford Learner’s Dictionaries describes situationship as “a romantic relationship in which the couple are not official partners.”
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From dating apps to social media-driven interactions, many young people are choosing this middle ground between friendship and a serious relationship. But what is causing this shift, and how do people in such situations feel about it? G Plus spoke to people who have experienced situationships firsthand, along with psychologist, to understand this growing trend.
Psychologist Kankan Sarmah explained, "Situationships are romantic relationships that lack commitment and the associated norms and expectations. Unlike traditional relationships, they do not necessarily follow a set structure or promise long-term stability."
He further elaborated on why young people are increasingly opting for such arrangements. "With changing lifestyles and perspectives, many people now view relationships differently. Some are afraid of commitment, some enter into these bonds to avoid emotional stress, while others simply enjoy the freedom. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it does come with its own set of challenges."
Why are situationships on the rise?
Several factors have contributed to the increase in situationships among young people in Guwahati. Experts point to changing social dynamics, emotional resistance, and a shift in relationship expectations.
Fear of commitment
Many young people are hesitant to commit to serious relationships due to career goals, personal ambitions, or previous bad experiences.
A 23-year-old woman, seeking anonymity talking to GPlus said, "I met my partner through a dating app. Initially, we started without any attachments… it was a typical situationship. But over time, we fell in love. What began as something casual turned into a deep emotional connection."
This is one of the cases where a situationship led to a successful relationship. However, for many, that is not always the outcome.
Lifestyle changes and modern dating culture
With fast-paced lives and digital interactions dominating social circles, many young people find traditional relationships restrictive.
Sarmah pointed out, "People today have unstructured life parameters. Emotional resistance in relationships has decreased, and many individuals no longer prioritise long-term commitment. Instead, they seek connections that fit their current phase of life."
Lack of compatibility in serious relationships
Compatibility has become a major issue in modern relationships, leading people to prefer undefined connections over structured relationships.
"In 90% of relationships, there is some level of incompatibility. With people spending more time in the virtual world, they find it difficult to establish deep, real-world emotional connections. This often results in situationships, where they feel less pressured to meet high expectations," Sarmah added.
Fear of heartbreak and unrealistic expectations
Situationships provide an emotional safety net for those who fear breakups.
A 21-year-old college student, who recently ended a situationship, told G Plus, "I was in a situationship for six months. We had fun, but I always knew we weren’t serious. The problem was, over time, I developed feelings, but he didn’t want a commitment. It hurt when it ended, but at least I knew from the start that there were no promises."
The pros and cons of situationships
While some find situationships freeing, others experience emotional distress. Psychologists highlight both the benefits and drawbacks of these relationships.
Pros:
- Less emotional pressure compared to traditional relationships
- Freedom to focus on personal growth and career without serious obligations
- A way to explore connections before deciding on a serious relationship
Cons:
- Can lead to confusion and unspoken expectations
- Emotional pain if one partner develops feelings while the other doesn’t
- Lack of security and clarity in the relationship
Sarmah pointed out another growing concern: "Situationships often face trouble when people transition into a serious relationship. When two individuals are used to emotional detachment, it becomes difficult for them to adapt to commitment. This often leads to breakups."
The role of social media and dating apps
The rise of dating apps has made casual relationships more accessible. Many young people swipe through potential partners, leading to quick, short-term connections rather than long-term commitments.
"Dating apps have made it easy to meet people without investing too much emotionally. You can chat, hang out, and have a connection without worrying about labels. It’s fun, but sometimes it also feels empty," said 22-year-old Rahul, a student from Guwahati.
Social media also plays a role in situationships. Constant exposure to seemingly ‘perfect’ relationships on Instagram or Snapchat creates unrealistic expectations, making people hesitant to commit in real life.
"Sometimes, people compare their partner with what they see on social media. They start doubting their relationship, which leads to dissatisfaction. Comparison is fine, but it should be limited to certain aspects," Sarmah added.
When situationships go wrong
While some enjoy the flexibility of situationships, others find themselves stuck in emotional uncertainty.
Pallavi, 24, talking to GPlus said, "I was with someone for almost a year. We did everything couples do—went on dates, talked every day, shared personal things—but he never called me his girlfriend. Every time I brought it up, he said he wasn’t ready for commitment. Eventually, I had to walk away because I couldn’t keep waiting for something that was never going to happen."
There are also cases where situationships turn into infidelity.
"Some people get into situationships even when they’re already in a committed relationship. If they’re not satisfied with their partner, they seek emotional or physical connections elsewhere. This leads to heartbreak and trust issues in long-term relationships," Sarmah pointed out.
Is there a way to make situationships work?
Not all situationships are doomed. If both individuals are clear about their expectations and boundaries, they can have a positive experience.
The psychologist also added, "Communication is key. If both partners agree on the nature of their bond, there’s less chance of misunderstandings. Problems arise when one person expects more while the other is content with keeping things casual."
He also advised, "If you find yourself unhappy in a situationship, ask yourself if it’s meeting your needs. If not, it’s okay to walk away. Don’t settle for something that makes you emotionally exhausted."
As relationships continue to evolve, one thing remains certain—whether it’s a situationship or a traditional relationship, emotional honesty and clarity will always be the foundation of a healthy connection.