Verbal abuse is not limited to marriages or romantic relationships—it exists in families, friendships, and workplaces. Often, the victims do not even realise they are being abused until the emotional damage is overwhelming.
Victims of verbal abuse must first acknowledge that what they are going through is not normal. Seeking therapy, confiding in a trusted friend, and setting firm boundaries are crucial steps toward healing.
The words came like knives, sharp, relentless, cutting deeper than any slap or punch ever could. They weren’t bruises on the skin but wounds on the soul. She stood in her own home, feeling like a stranger, her heart pounding as her partner hurled insults at her again.
"Useless. Good for nothing. You will never survive without me."
At first, she brushed it off. Then, she began believing it.
In another part of the city, a young woman in love felt trapped in a relationship that slowly drained her. It wasn’t the yelling—it was the whispers, the mockery, the constant reminders that she wasn’t enough.
"You are too needy. Too sensitive. Too much."
And across town, a man sat silently as his wife insulted him in front of friends. He laughed along, pretending it did not hurt. Society told him that men don’t get abused.
"Take it like a man."
Verbal abuse is silent. It leaves no visible scars but suffocates its victims, breaking them from the inside. It happens in marriages, relationships, homes, and workplaces—yet, it is ignored, dismissed, and even normalised. But for those who endure it, the damage is real, lasting, and often life-altering.
This is their story.
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Verbal abuse, often overlooked and dismissed, leaves deep scars—ones that don’t show on the skin but linger in the mind. It seeps into relationships, turning love into fear, companionship into control, and trust into trauma. While physical abuse is widely condemned, verbal abuse remains a hidden torment, ignored or normalised in many households.
Verbal abuse can be degrading, manipulative, and soul-crushing. It comes in many forms, including insults, threats, belittling remarks, gaslighting, and constant criticism. Victims often feel trapped, unsure if what they are experiencing is ‘serious enough’ to warrant action. But the truth is, abuse is abuse, no matter the form.
Talking to GPlus, a 35-year-old woman from Zoo Road, who has been married for seven years said, "After a long period of going through verbal abuse, which turned into physical abuse, I thought of divorce. Initially, I thought it was fine since I loved and married him for years, but it was a repeated cycle. Slowly, it devastated me, and I thought I was stuck. I shared with none of my friends because I felt insecure about sharing such things with them, but later I realised I should move out from the situation."
For years, she endured his sharp words, constant criticisms, and degrading comments. It started with seemingly harmless complaints—her cooking wasn’t good enough, her opinions didn’t matter. Then, it escalated.
"He would call me useless, compare me to other women, and tell me I was lucky to have him. I began questioning myself—maybe I was not good enough, maybe I deserved this. But the day he slapped me, I realised this was not love anymore. It was control."
Another 24-year-old victim in Maligaon talking to GPlus said, "At first, I didn’t even realise it was abuse. She would make fun of my weight, my clothes, even the way I spoke. She said it was just a joke, so I laughed along. But over time, the jokes became cruel, and the laughter stopped. I started doubting myself—was I really that annoying, that difficult to love? I was constantly walking on eggshells, afraid of saying the wrong thing. I thought love meant compromise, but I was the only one compromising. It took me sometime to understand that love should not feel like this."
While women are disproportionately affected, men too suffer from verbal abuse. However, their pain is often dismissed or ridiculed due to societal norms that expect them to be ‘strong’ and ‘unaffected’.
A 40-year-old man from Beltola talking to GPlus said, "She would insult me in front of my friends, call me useless, make fun of my salary. I thought, ‘I am a man, I should be able to take this’. But after years, it broke me. I lost my confidence. I stopped going out with friends. I felt like a failure, even though I was working hard every day."
Kankan Sarmah, a psychologist, said, "Using slang words or abusive words to control behaviour or manipulate a situation is verbal abuse," Sarmah explained.
"It triggers and reminds victims of painful events. It can also escalate into physical abuse, though that depends on the situation, especially when the relationship is imbalanced", he said.
Verbal abuse is not limited to marriages or romantic relationships—it exists in families, friendships, and workplaces. Often, the victims do not even realise they are being abused until the emotional damage is overwhelming.
"When someone goes through verbal abuse from childhood or in the present, it can lead to PTSD. It impacts the person negatively because it changes them entirely," Sarmah said.
Many victims internalise the abuse, leading to self-doubt, depression, anxiety, and even substance abuse.
"For some, using slang words may not be a big deal, for example, between friends. But for others, using such words toward them can be deeply hurtful and escalate the situation," Sarmah said.
Sarmah emphasised that verbal abuse creates long-term psychological issues.
"People who repeatedly go through this may develop PTSD, emotional disturbances, or even turn to substance abuse. Some become physically unwell and struggle with insomnia."
Sarmah believes awareness is crucial.
"Separation is not always the only option at first, but if the abuse becomes a repeated cycle, action must be taken. In any relationship, communication is essential. If one partner refuses to acknowledge the damage they are causing, then the other must leave. No one is a slave to anyone. Everyone has the right to live freely", Sarmah told GPlus.
The problem is that verbal abuse is normalised in our society. Phrases like "Don’t take it seriously, it’s just words" or "That’s how relationships are" prevent victims from recognising abuse.
"Proper awareness and campaigns are required to address this," Sarmah emphasised.
Victims of verbal abuse must first acknowledge that what they are going through is not normal. Seeking therapy, confiding in a trusted friend, and setting firm boundaries are crucial steps toward healing.