Before you begin reading this article, I want to ask you one thing, and that is, how many times have you felt like you’re stuck in life? It could be any Situation, a bad breakup, feeling like you can’t change your habits, feeling stuck on your bad grades, anything. And no matter what you do, things just don’t change.
Chances are you’ve felt that before and might be going through one right now. So the question is, how exactly will “Letting go” help you move through these phases?
People are flawed, no one is perfect and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s okay to be lacking sometimes, and you’re allowed to accept your flaws. The feeling of being overwhelmed does hit hard, but the good news is that the answer to your situation is probably not as complicated as you think. It all comes down to one simple thing, “letting go”.
I know most of you are thinking, “I’ve heard these hundreds of times but how do I even let go?” and the rest of you are thinking “this doesn’t even make sense for my situation”. I promise It will all make sense.
Remember, nothing really belongs to you.
Life presents moments of profound solitude, forcing us to confront decisions that may isolate us for a time. In such instances, we come to understand a difficult truth. Accepting this reality can be a challenging lesson, yet it ultimately teaches us how to cultivate a lasting peace within ourselves.
In Ancient China, the great philosopher Lao Tzu wrote the main book of Taoism, The Tao Te Ching. The Tao is hard to define, but sometimes is understood as the way of the universe. Now, how possibly can “Letting go” even have anything to do with Taoism?
The book explains Taoism as a balance between humans and animals with the Tao or the Universe. It teaches the importance of letting go and becoming one with the Universe, as well as embracing each setback it offers.
The answer has been around for a while, and I must say this: when you let go of the mistakes you’ve made, the relationships you couldn’t save, and the bad grades you struggle to accept, you end up saving yourself from future failures. I’m not saying to forget these experiences; learn from them if you can. However, do yourself a favour and don’t let them weigh you down forever.
Let go of yourself
In an experiment conducted by a group of researchers, a class of toddlers was presented with a straightforward challenge involving a simple puzzle. The aim was to observe the effects of different types of praise on the toddlers‟ subsequent behaviour and attitudes toward problem-solving.
Upon completing the challenge, toddlers were divided into two groups and received different praise. One group was commended with effort-focused feedback, such as, “You worked really hard on that!” and “I appreciate how you kept trying!” In contrast, the second group received ability-focused praise, such as, “You are so smart!” and “You are a natural at this!”
The researchers asked the toddlers if they wanted a more difficult challenge. The first group, which received effort-focused feedback, was more eager to take on a harder challenge. Conversely, the second group, which had been given ability-focused praise, was less inclined to accept the challenge, as they feared being proven wrong about their “natural abilities”.
Upon further study of similar tests, they found that the children who received effort-focused feedback, showed growth over time. In contrast, those who received ability-focused praise experienced a decline in academic performance.
The difference between the groups reflects “Growth mindset” and “Fixed mindset”. Often this doesn’t apply to children only, some may have realised these patterns in themselves. The choice of words and personal beliefs play a role far greater than we imagine.
Now, what does this have to do with “letting go‟? Too often, we view letting go as something contingent upon external aspects of life, rather than embracing the concept of letting go of our own selves. But what does letting go of ourselves signify here?
The answer is self-entitlement. From the research done on the toddlers, we find that the children with the Fixed mind-set had the problem of accepting their flaws. They were scared to be proven wrong of their “natural abilities”.
Now, considering the same patterns in an adult person. In order to improve and grow. One has to change their attitude towards themselves, and that means letting go of the image that they have of themselves.
Letting go will open up ample amount of opportunities for you, more importantly it will give you many opportunities to refine yourself. As I said earlier, nobody is perfect. The hundreds of setbacks that you have been facing, also have hidden within them, the hundreds of opportunities for you to learn from.
Open yourself up, let go of the past, let yourself get hurt, fail that exam, let that one person leave. When you allow this, you also give yourself the opportunity to change, chase your dreams, and be the person you’ve always wanted to be. Most importantly, you gain the chance to set yourself free.
(All views and opinion expressed in the are the author’s own)
