Ah, the age-old question - What do women want? Often thrown around like a tired punchline in-jokes, movies, and real-life situations.
But has anyone tried to decipher the puzzle, as people say women are? Here’s a 101 on What Women Really Want.
Women want to be respected, to be loved and cared for, to have an identity, to be acknowledged and not to be invisible. At this point, people are already making up their minds – oh she is one of those feminist types, she is a woke person, she definitely hates men.
Let’s burst that bubble, shall we?
Women are seeking the same respect that you give to your family or your loved ones at home or at the workplace. If you are uncomfortable sharing the same respect then there might be some problem with you or your upbringing. Must get it checked by a therapist, I have heard they give great discounts these days. It's not rocket science; it's common decency.
Who’s next? Yes – to be loved and cared for. Women want the same amount of love and care that they shower on the other person. What we don’t want is the gaslighting, love bombing, the orbiting, the haunting, cuffing, stalking and the list goes on.
Ask any women friends or sisters you are comfortable being vulnerable around and they would tell you, it’s not the expensive gifts or the out-of-country vacation women long for, rather it’s listening and being present in a conversation, their favourite activity or food maybe when they are low and sometimes just existing in the silence and sharing the space is all a women crave for.
Still with me? Let’s continue
Coming to identity, I know many people will now feel attacked thinking how much more identity do these women need. Let’s start there – A girl grows up at her parent’s house and dies at her husband’s. There’s no in-between, apparently. Ever heard the classic, "You can't wear this or do that now, you can do it when you get married"? Since when did marriage become a license to adulting, let's stop treating it as such.
The struggle to find an identity of our own starts at a very young age and some searching for that for a long long time. Not our fault that it was ingrained in us.
Do you have any idea how many times we feel invisible throughout one day? Your parents will ask your brother to fix a bulb rather than coming to you. Yes, it starts that small and then at work, your manager will crack offensive jokes without acknowledging the women present in the room. Your voice, complaints, and pain seem to fade away when a man says the opposite, just in louder words. Why the scepticism even when a woman is right?
From fighting for existence to the right to vote, the struggle for women is a lifelong battle, both inside and outside the home. What women want is simple—some space to grow and be vulnerable, some calm and peace to silence the internal storms. And most importantly, trust us when we say, we know what we're doing.
Yes, we know we are SUPERWOMEN, evolution has taught us that well. We know we have to control our emotions or we would be called hormonal. We know we don’t get pockets, God knows we deserve it, so our hands and fingers have evolved to carry multiple things at one go (thank you, Darwin). We know that we have to manage both personal and professional lives as we are fully aware that a single complaint might take everything away. We are SUPER, but we are also human, so, how about cutting us some slack when we occasionally step outside the lines? Instead of calling us names or working up a plan to tear us down, a little understanding can go a long way.
I know how much my ancestors have struggled and stirred up the women’s rights movement just for us to have the freedom to write, say, and do what we want. Let’s not forget why this day is celebrated across the world – not to get discounts on clothes and cosmetics, but to keep the fire in us alive and it also acts as a remembrance that we didn't get this easy.
We don’t want a special day if all that day entails is taking the women out for dinner or making us cut a cake or listening to a lecture. We would rather take that equal pay and acknowledgement any day over the cake and hampers.
(The author is a media professional. All views and opinions expressed in the article are the author’s own)